LogoRelationship cowardice has reached an all-time low with the creation of a break-up service called iDump4U. Ball-less wonders everywhere no longer have to use methods like passively-aggressively changing their facebook relationship statuses to single to dump their significant others — they can now hire someone to call their current partner to dump them on their behalf for a mere $10.

That’s right, iDump4U’s Bradley Laborman has literally made it his business to play the middleman by personally calling the dumpee to let them know their significant other is breaking up with them. Bradley also lets the dumpee know why they’re being dumped, a part of the service Bradley considers to be a dose of (unprofessional) therapy. “Do you want to lie your way into a breakup, only to leave the person vulnerable to make the same mistakes twice?” Bradley asks on the site’s About page. “Or do you want to educate them on why you broke up with them, so that they can change those personality traits that drove you away?”

While I can see the twisted logic behind that, I really don’t think anyone’s learning anything about how to do better the next time by having a stranger call them to tell them their boyfriend is breaking up with them because they’re a “super bitch” (from the recording of Dillon Dumping Ivory).

Not surprisingly, many of Bradley’s calls are just plain sad. Take the recording of Morgan dumping Drew (embedded below). The two were high school sweethearts, and while Morgan left their hometown for college, Drew stayed behind because he didn’t feel college was the right option for him. While he made plans to propose to Morgan during her Thanksgiving break, Morgan had Bradley call Drew to tell him she had met someone else and didn’t want to speak to him anymore. Drew, of course, is heartbroken, and by Bradley’s sigh in the last second of the recording, you could tell it wasn’t an easy call for him:

Other calls, on the other hand, are exceptionally hard not to laugh at. Take this recording of Chelle dumping Marco (embedded below). At first, Bradley does his best to be tactful about Chelle’s reason for dumping Marco, but he soon realizes he needs to just spell it out for the guy that Chelle’s leaving him because she thinks he’s gay. Marco doesn’t help matters by saying, “so what if [my male friends] come over and have slumber parties?” to which Bradley responds (appropriately, I might add), “Did you say slumber parties?! … Are you 13?”

iDump4u offers other services as well: for $25, Bradley will end an engagement, and for a whopping $50, Bradley will initiate a divorce. A small fee for such a costly phone call.


7 thoughts on “$10 Buys You a Break-Up With Your Significant Other

  1. Why do these people argue with Bradley from

    If they want to have a relationship argument, there needs to be a different service for that.

    1. I like how Ivory tries to force Bradley into sending Dillon a message, and Bradley keeps insisting “I don’t work for you, Ivory,” like that $10 Dillon paid him really sets his loyalties.

  2. I should not find this as amazing and hilarious as I do…. I love this site. Seriously. Breaking up sucks so why not have a stranger do it?? There’s no good way to break up with someone… but this might be your best option. Cheap, Bradley is good at it and you don’t have to deal with it. Amazing.

    Now I do only think this works if you are breaking up with someone after a small amount of time. I don’t know the tipping point exactly but I’m guessing maybe less than a year? Amazing…

    1. hahaha I feel the same way, Caitlin! It reminds me of our break-up drive through idea…I know it’s sad but I can’t stop laughing.

    2. You definitely make a good point that there’s kind of an unspoken cut-off point for when (if ever) you should use a service like this. “We’ve been dating for seven years and you’re having a stranger call me to break it off?!” Yeah … I don’t think that would go very well. Bradley does warn his customers to make the decision to use his service very, very carefully because it’s a definite bridge-burner.

  3. How I love this…you know, it’s callous, but it works, and it hits the message home. It’s amazing how much these guys try to argue with Bradley, to me demonstrating just how difficult it is to break up with someone in real life. Here’s a great example: situation – trying to break up with boyfriend of 3 months, a fake-Jewish, truck driving man from Tennessee who is still in love with his ex-wife. Facts: I am not becoming a stay-at-home wife, barefoot and pregnant, taking care of farm animals, as requested by said boyfriend. I tried to communicate this many times in polite terms. “We’re on different pages,” “I don’t want to move to Tennessee,” etc. These conversations happened the WHOLE last month of our relationship. How receptive was he? I was THIS CLOSE to a restraining order. Asshole.

    1. Holy balls, Tricia! That’s scary. I can definitely see where hiring Bradley to do the breaking up for you would not only be appropriate in this situation, but would even be kind of cathartic. I’m glad you were able to get away from that dude.

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