Planned Parenthood Urges You to Use Protection — Even with Vampires

Halloween and its many safety warnings may have come and gone, but there’s one Halloween message that has stuck with me this year: vampire lore is bullshit, so if you’re planning on having sex with a vampire, bring a condom. At least that’s the message Planned Parenthood conveyed through a press release they distributed on Halloween.

Much like the Center for Disease Control’s Zombie Task Force, which was used to spread awareness about the importance of having a disaster preparedness plan, Planned Parenthood has gotten creative with their PR efforts in order to encourage people to have safe sex, even if they’re having sex with a sensual immortal creature who claims he can’t get you pregnant or give you STDs. Kudos, Planned Parenthood marketing team. Here are some of the points I found particularly clever:

  • Just because vampires are immortal doesn’t mean they can’t give you an STD. Can you imagine how many STDs a single vampire could have, especially if he/she is centuries old? Shudder.
  • Because vampires have the ability to use “glamour” on you, make your intentions to have safe sex clear from the start.
  • Edward got Bella pregnant. Think about it.
To that last point, CollegeHumor.com produced a video that perfectly depicts the message Planned Parenthood was trying to convey. It’s a shame they didn’t partner. Check it out:

 

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